A Sad Life
by KirbyXtreme
Summary: This is a short FanFic about what the President was doing on Hocotate while Louie and Olimar were on Earth. My first nonhumor, don't blame me if it's bad... Please R
1. Day 1

**DAY 1**

The president watched as Olimar and Louie's ship flew off, back in the planet of the Pikmin. The ship was now out of Hocotate's atmosphere, out of sight. The president slowly walked off to his building. He walked in and climbed up the stairs, as the elevator was broken. His floor was the highest one in the building, the 23rd. There was nobody else in there, everyone had been fired so that he would not have to pay them. Its was very silent, and the only noise was the one of his footsteps echoing as he climbed. He was also muttering something to himself.

"Hmm... Will I ever get out of this pure crap alive? Well, luckily the debt I owe is to Happy Hocotate Savings & Loan... There's nothing left to repossess... Yeah. And those buggers I sent to that big planet will probably get out of there with my money... If I don't, I'm just in deep shit... And so will they."

He finally arrived to his floor after climbing about 2000 steps. The floors were full of garbage and dust, as there was nobody to clean it. He opened the door to his office and slowly walked in. He sat down on his broken chair and started arranging his messy desk. He made two piles of paper. A very small one saying, 'Fan Mail', and the very big one saying 'Hate Mail'. His life was really bad. Well, at least his computer worked. He turned it on and opened a file that let him know what Olimar and Louie are ding right now. These words appeared on the black screen:

Arrived at the planet. Louie lost. Pikmin found.

The president sighted. That was a good start all right. He was anxiously waiting for more words to appear on the screen, but nothing happened. He waited, and at last the words, 'Louie found' appeared on the screen. Well, at least they did something. The president turned his chair and looked through the window. Some time ago, he would have checked the progress on everybody from this window. It was a real good sight. But now there was nothing left. Trash littered the place and there was there was nothing there except for some broken machines that nobody would buy. It was like a big trash can. A very big one.

The president turned back again and kept on staring at the screen. It was still saying the same thing, no news. He was looking at the blank screen of his broken TV. He used to own a big-ass plasma screen to watch the channels, but he sold that and now all that was left was thing snail-sized thing that nobody would buy. Could his life be any worse? He kept staring at his screen. He was getting sleepy and in five minutes he fell asleep.

He woke up hours later. He looked up and at the screen. These words appeared there:

Arrived at the planet. Louie lost. Pikmin found. Louie found. Treasure found. Treasure being carried back... progress- 100. Worth 250 Pokos. 9750 Pokos to go. Notes:

The president felt a little bit better. It was going fine, and 250 Pokos were already enough to buy a small TV show. He started writing down notes. This is what he wrote:

u found j00r 1st bit o treashur, took u long enough. mai futoor depends on ur effords so chek ur treashur hord regularly. ill chek in often keep up da pace r ill kill u via a bug ill send thru email so mov it mov it.

Yeah, that's how he wrote, chat-style. It was getting night and the P was getting hungry. He got up and walked down the unlimited stairs. He had a brown coat on and his hands were in his pockets. He walked out the broken door and noticed that it was an unusually cold and silent night. He walked to his old car and noticed something strange. Graffiti were all over it. He walked around it, reading the notes. 'Shyacho SUXXX!', 'U poor faggit', 'U hobo u don't deserve 2 liv in a building'. That's what he read. He ignored everything and jumped in. He turned on the engine. At least that worked. He slowly drove to his favorite restaurant. At least he had friends there... As he was driving, everybody was looking at his car. P ignored all of them. 'They can't understand', he thought to himself.

He got there, and he opened the door. Inside was nice and warm. He was the only costumer. A waiter was cleaning the dishes and looked up.

"Hey Shyacho!"

"Hey, Bob."

P closed the door and walked inside. He took off his coat and set in on an empty seat. He sat next to it. Bob walked over to his table.

"Shyacho, didn't you read the sign outside? It said, 'CLOSED'. And you know we're closed on Wednesdays, anyways. Are you OK? You look so depressed..."

"Oh. It's closed?"

"Yeah, but we can still serve you. What do you want?"

"Can you bring me that steak? The juicy one with fried potatoes around it, you know... And some red wine. It's cold outside, I need something strong."

"Coming!"

Bob walked away and into the kitchen. P was very bored. He grabbed his coat and checked the pockets. He found a picture of his family. He grabbed it and took a look at it. Him, his wife, and his two grandchildren. His two grandchildren. P had lost them a couple of years ago, when a car hit the three of them while they were out on a little walk. He made it alive but the two kids died. P wiped off some tears and put the picture back in the coat's pockets. He was now anxiously waiting for his steak to come. And at last it arrived.

"There you go, a nice 'Shyacho-style' steak with some fried potatoes. Red wine of the house. Enjoy."

And Bob walked off. Shyacho took a bite from his steak. It was his favorite dish. He was really happy, for no reason. He kept on eating and drinking.

He was done. He paid the price of 16 Pokos and thanked Bob and the cook. He grabbed his coat and went outside. He hopped in the 'decorated' car and drove all the way back to the building. He climbed those damned stairs and into his office. He took off his shoes and coat and sat down on a comfortable sofa. He eventually fell asleep a couple of minutes later.

_My first non-humor, please review. NO FLAMES. If you don't like this just send a review saying what I should improve on. Please R&R._


	2. Day 5

**DAY 5**

It has been 5 days since Louie and Olimar took off, and P's life had not gotten any better. The poor man was losing money fast; in the 5 days he had spent over 30 Pokos on food and other stuff such as clothing and others. He was starting to lose his hopes in the two captains. Louie and Olimar had only achieved to get 2000 Pokos in the first 5 days. He was worried. What if they couldn't get the 10,000? He dared not think about what would happen to him if they didn't.

He just woke up and found himself on the floor. He had fallen off his sofa while sleeping. He slowly got up and walked to his desk. He sat down on the chair and stared at a random pencil on the desk. He was still sleepy. He grabbed a white paper bag that was sitting on the desk and opened it. Inside was a nice breakfast that he had bought the day before. He took out a nice orange juice and a bread with butter and marmalade. After finishing eating and drinking, he stood up and stretched. Then he sat back down.

He turned his computer on and opened the file. This word was stamped across the screen:

Sleeping.

P was shocked. He owed a company 10,000 Pokos and the two hired workers to do that were just sleeping. Couldn't they care? WHY wouldn't they care about him and his life?

He was more concerned about Louie. What is it with him? Since he had joined the company he didn't do anything helpful, if anything at all. And space bunnies. Those exist, yes, but P never heard about space bunnies in THAT space shipping lane. Weird...

"I'm gonna find out what exactly happened with Louie and the golden Pik-Pik Carrots. And I'm not going to rest until I do!"

So he opened the door and went down the stairs. He walked over to his graffiti-covered car and hopped in. He made his way to the public library. When he got there, he parked the car in the underground parking and got out. He walked to the elevator and waited. When it got there, the people who came out of it looked at him. There was a child along with them, and he was pointing at P.

"Look, mommy! It's the guy who you said is broke!"

P turned around, offended. Everybody knew him as a bad guy, as a total failure. He was praying for Olimar and Louie to get those 10,000 Pokos so that he could go on with his life. He decided to go up the stairs, instead of the elevator. When he got to the main floor, he opened the door and went in. He walked right, towards the Space section. He was searching for a book.

"P... Q... R... S... Sp, sp... Space Bunnies, there."

He grabbed the book from the bookshelf and sat down on a red sofa. He opened the book and went to the last page, the index. He was looking for the shipping lane that Louie went in. It was called Yo Mama's Shipping Lane. He searched for it and found it. Page 128, section A. He flipped the pages back and checked in the section A. There was only a small note on that section. He read it.

"'No Space Bunnies sighting was ever recorded on Yo Mama's Shipping Lane.' I need more information, this won't do."

He stood up and put the book back on the bookshelf where he got it from and went through other ones.

"Shipping Lanes, All About. There."

He grabbed an enormous book and sat down on the same red sofa. He searched for Yo Mama and found it. He started reading.

"Let's see... It says, 'Yo Mama's Shipping Lane is very famous for being the most controlled and safest Space Shipping Lane. No Space Pirates, Bunnies, or Dawgs sighting has ever been recorded.' Then... Louie lied?"

He put the book back on the shelf and went back down the stairs and quickly to his car. While he was going there, he noticed that there were people around it.

"Hey, what's going on?"

The people turned and saw P. Then they all started running away. P was confused. Then, he took a look at the car and saw that it was all smashed up. There were little pieces of glass everywhere. Those people broke the windshield. Broken eggs were all over the car. There were beer bottles on the floor and the whole car now smelled like crap. P quickly went over to it and noticed that it was even worse than it looked. The door was open, and inside there was lots of junk. There was glue on the chair and the back of the car was full of garbage. He ignored everything and went in it, sitting on the glued chair. Then, he started driving.

He got out of the parking lot and started driving back to his office. While he was going there, he noticed a police siren going on behind him. He stopped the car and the police stopped, too. Two policemen got out and started walking to his car.

"Please get out of the car, sir."

P tried to but he was glued to the seat.

"Get out. Now."

"I can't! I'm glued to the seat!"

"THEN GET YOUR COAT OFF!"

P just noticed that it was the coat that was stuck to the seat, not him. So he took off the coat and got out of the car. He asked what was wrong.

"What's wrong? Are you serious? You can't drive with a broken windshield and a graffiti-covered car. And the whole car smells like alcohol. Please blow in this balloon."

The policemen gave P a balloon and he inflated it. Then, the two policemen did something (...).

"Good, you didn't drink and drive. But you'll still have to pay a fine and your car will be seized. Gimme 20 Pokos now, in cash."

P sadly went back to his car and got the money out of his coat. He handed over 20 Pokos to the two dudes. The policemen told him to walk away now. He did that. So now, he was without car and almost with no money and he had to walk back home. He was still about 5 miles away. So, he started walking.

LATER

He finally arrived at his building. He climbed those stairs and went in his office. He checked the clock. It was 5 PM already. He had skipped lunch and he was really hungry. He checked his wallet and found out he had only 30 Pokos left. Then, he suddenly remembered that he left his coat on the car. It was a 10 year old coat that his father gave to him a week before he died. He sat down on the chair and checked Olimar and Louie's progress.

Sleeping. Woke up. Outside. Found 1 treasure/s. Found cave. Found 10 treasure/s. Day over. Sleeping.

Day over? Already? It has been only a couple hours since they went outside and they already finished the day? They had only gotten 3,000 Pokos total in 6 days. Not the best there is. P rested on the sofa. He was really hungry but the sadness was a stronger feeling and he fell asleep with an empty stomach and a tear falling from the eye. The whole night, he had nightmares about what would happen to him if he didn't pay the 10,000.

_Yeah, um... Yeah. Please review, and thanks for the reviewers. Um... Yeah._


End file.
